Divorces, or in some cases deaths, are always painful and emotionally taxing to children. Children who have witnessed relatively messy divorces may become mistrustful or suspicious of new parent figures. Also, their loyalties may be split between a new parent figure and their biological parent. This is why introducing a new member of the family may not always be as easy as buying a telecaster for sale. For one, children may not always be accepting of having two moms or two dads. However, this does not mean that a widow, widower, or divorcee should not have another shot at happily ever after.
Those who have found new loves must always remember how important it is for children to adjust well to a new family member. If you are planning to remarry, do keep the following in mind:
Give your child and new partner time to adjust. Don’t surprise your child by announcing that you’d be marrying – or have already married – someone he has never even met. Give your child and new partner time to get to know each other and to adjust with having each other around.
Do not force your child to accept your new partner. Just because you are so in love with your new partner doesn’t mean that your child has to welcome him/her with a glad heart as well. Understand that your child has feelings of his own and should not be forced to like or love someone. Again, give your child time to accept your new partner.
Never allow the child to feel left out. A child’s emotions are often left in turmoil after a divorce or loss of a parent. Years may have passed already but, often, there still remain vestiges of feeling inadequate and insecure. When you are in a new relationship, make sure that your child always feels loved and not threatened by your new ‘love’.