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Saying “No” To Children’s Whims

It can be difficult for some parents to refuse requests from their kids especially when they start turning on their charms or their wet puppy looks.

However, parents should realize that giving in to their children’s requests all the time can result to behavioral consequences that would be more difficult to address as they grow older. Learning how to say “No” to their whims at an early age can help parents set the boundaries and instill discipline in their children.

Defining the difference between whims and needs can make it easy for parents to refuse material requests.  For example, purchasing an exceptional epiphone hummingbird may be reasonable to reward a teen who excels in playing the guitar but not for a child who is just about to start his guitar lessons. As the child gets older the definition of whims and needs can be subject to debate, it is important for parents and children to have the same understanding of these concepts early on to avoid conflicts. Once the line is drawn between the two, parents should be consistent in saying “No” to unreasonable requests.  Giving in to their requests after saying no gives them the idea that they can wriggle their way to getting what they want in the future.

Children can easily pull on their parents’ heartstrings whenever they have requests to make. Being firm with your decision while being gentle in saying “No” to their whims, can help kids understand that their parents always have their best interests at heart.

13 comments found

  1. Thanks for this reminder. I must learn to say “NO” to my kids especially if they’re asking for non-essentials… I agree, kids really have their ways on getting what they want.

  2. i really find it hard to say no to my little man’s requests, especially when he found out how powerful the word “please” is! i know when to put my toe on the line on occasions, though, especially in things concerning his safety.

  3. Thank you so much! My first nephew is living with us and i don’t wanna spoil him. it’s just sometimes it’s hard to say NO, to cute to watch his beautiful smile.

  4. Really helpful! I agree it’s really hard to say no to kids but I think it’s better to train them early so as not to spoil them

  5. It’s really hard to say No especially when a Why (multiple) comes after that and when they get to compare to classmates or playmates. Proper explanation is really needed for them to understand why there are things that they can and cannot have, but there really are times that it seems explanations are not enough for our children (especially when they really really like that something) so instead of giving in to their whims we convert them in to rewards, another lesson to be learned that if they do good things and proper things rewards will be given 🙂

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