“A good marriage is made in Heaven,” a wit once said. Even the findings of early psychologists, such as Freud, turned the face to read, “Good marriages are made in bed.”
Clever as the remarks may be in-depth research studies show that a satisfactory marriage is a fine art requiring skills, sensitivity and knowledge. Almost anyone can get married if he or she wants, but the real test comes in staying married gracefully, in growing emotionally and mentally as result of the partnership.
Try this quiz, which gives you a self-help inventory of your chances at success in marriage.
1. Your date/mate has..
a) Religious belief which are very different from yours.
b) Religious beliefs which are much the same as yours.
c) Very flexible, pragmatic views about religion.
2. When you are with your partner at a social event, he/she..
a) Mingles but is especially attentive to you.
b) Spends a large part of the time with members of the opposite sex.
c) Huddles in conversation with members of his/her sex.
a) Don’t want to be bothered hearing about your partners joys and sorrows after a working day.
b) Seldom fail to ask your date/ mate about his/her day and listen to the report.
c) Seldom talk about your activities.
4. Between you and your date/mate, the words “I love you” or some other declaration of affection are..
a) Expressed at least once a day.
b) Spoken only as a sort of thank you for a gift or something special.
c) Never used.
5. When some minor tragedy happens, such as a flat tire, spilled milk, broken shoelace or lost cuff-link, you..
a) Can usually see the funny side of the situation.
b) Often become frustrated and angry.
c) Are grim but stoic about the incident.
6. When you need help on a minor matter from your partner, you..
a) Expect the person to drop everything immediately.
b) Try to find a time that is convenient for the two of you.
7. When talking about your partners close friends or relatives, you..
a) Find kind things to say about them even if you’re not enthusiastic.
b) Steer away from any comments and let him/her do most of the talking.
c) Have a tendency to find fault and belittle them.
8. Now that you are married, you are considering the pros and cons, you..
a) Feel you can let your manners slip, such as eating habits, tidiness, etc.
b) Are doubly careful to put your best foot forward.
c) Maintain your usual standards.
9. In the presence of your date/mate you..
a) Like to talk about your past romantic conquests.
b) Discuss your past lovers only when asked.
c) Refuse to talk about other men/women with whom you have been close.
10. You usually begin each day..
a) By greeting your date/mate just as you feel, ranging from wretched to fine spirits.
c) In a pleasant manner, even if you don’t feel that way.
11. There are a number of compulsions that can ruin family life, such as gambling, alcoholism, extra-marital affairs. In all honestly you..
a) Have a definite weakness in one or more areas.
b) Are tempted but do not give in
c) Have no such problem
12. You were/are motivated to marry because..
a) All your friends are married.
b) You fell in love.
c) There were practical aspects to such an arrangement.
13. If or when you find you cannot satisfactorily arouse and satisfy your partner sexually, you..
a) Lay the blame on him/her.
b) Try another approach or technique.
c) Turn to another person who is receptive.
14. It is your belief that marriages..
a) Fall into a comfortable routine with the passage of time.
b) Grow in warmth and meaning as one matures.
c) Usually become less and less exciting and challenging.
15. You believe..
a) One should marry with the aim of making the union a success.
b) Marriage is a gamble which can be cut short by a divorce if it doesn’t work out.
c) Marriage is an outmoded social institution.
1. (a)2 (b)6 (c)4
2. (a)6 (b)2 (c)4
3. (a)2 (b)6 (c)4
4. (a)6 (b)4 (c)2
5. (a)6 (b)2 (c)4
6. (a)2 (b)6 (c)4
7. (a)6 (b)4 (c)2
8. (a)2 (b)6 (c)4
9. (a)2 (b)6 (c)4
10. (a)4 (b)2 (c)6
11. (a)2 (b)4 (c)6
12. (a)2 (b)6 (c)4
13. (a)2 (b)6 (c)2
14. (a)4 (b)6 (c)2
15. (a)6 (b)2 (c)2
Interpretation of scores:
80-100: Your pleasant personality and placid manner in handling your mate or date makes you good marriage material. You know that it takes two to tango and that the best marriage relationship is when each partner willingly tries to carry more than half his or her load of responsibility.
60-79: People with this score need patience from their partners. Many marriages are dissolved on the basis of the blanket term “mental incompatibility” those nagging little things which pile up until the relationship is unbearable. Be sure you’re not one of these.
40-59: This is a weak score. Your attitude is self-centered and you need to grow up socially and mentally, anyone who accepts you as a partner is asking for scars.
20-39: This is a highly questionable score, a dangerous one. Of you are married or considering it, it would be wise to talk with a marriage counselor before too long. You will probably find that advice from such an expert will also help you in other areas of life.